i act dumb for attention reply
Theres definitely a balance Mike. I find it comical when people look at a $100,000 a year or a few $million as success. When you walk into work and someone says how about that traffic? they dont really care about your opinion on auto congestion; they are trying to decide if they are going to make an ask or if you are going to be in a cooperative and productive mood. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I also feel like Ive noticed that men in the industry can afford to be humble and still have their accomplishments recognized, but when women are humble theyre either overlooked, undervalued or viewed as lacking confidence. Be smart enough to not let anybody know about your investing experience. These are people in which you need to go out your way, in order to seek advice/info. I just find it odd youre telling your readers to shoot for being mediocre. Within my group, Im the guy that is sent out to get other divisions to go along with what we have planned. Dialogue brings about a happy balance. And never understood acting any more intelligent than I was at the moment. The goal is to find that steady state where you can continue to progress while giving yourself room to progress a little more. bluedolphin4 10 yr. ago I've never been attracted to ditzy girls. I tried to keep expectations low so I would surprise people with what I could accomplish as well. Well done! It seems to work particularly well for women negotiating with men they think youre nice and sweet and they want to help you and when its all over you end up with the concessions you needed and generally the other side walks away feeling good about making them. I could probably do my work about 5 times faster, but then Id have to actually work on the two days a week I get to work from home. Act Dumb | INTP Forum By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. All you gotta do is change or adjust :). summary of OPs logic: But Google led me here, so i ask the same of whomever I care not. I do not agree with the theory of acting dumb to get ahead but it is interesting to hear such perspective. I believe the first steps of adaptation is listening to those frustrations and adapting. If your IQ is in that range, youd better be on the top of the billionaire list if you are thinking of yourself as successful.that or we shouldnt have a wealth distribution like exists where there are 1,800 billionaires and 14,000,000 geniuses living on Earth. :-/ I run my mouth more than I listen, and it always gets me into trouble. Two they are going to picture you as the manager and try to imagine how you would fit in that role, visual perspective will be important. New hire. The earliest examples of acting dumb to get ahead starts in grade school. This is the problem. I find nothing in the world so absolutely boring as small talk. Theyll pretend to be totally unaware and in the dark. As an example, if youre jacked or muscled up people believe 1) youre dumb and 2) youre a mean person. 24 phrases 'gaslighters' use against you - PR Daily I knew exactly what she was doing because I was closer to her but nobody else knew. The point here, is incorporating this in a sensible manner.. which it seems you have none since youre so smart. Ah, but it kinda does depend on how big your real estate blog gets. True leaders have a way of getting ahead without acting like a sheep. Im blonde, so sometimes I use that to my advantage too. This was right out of graduation in a shitty economy too. Ive found it best in these situations to mimic mannerisms from Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld. I actually JUST picked a guys brain about his stocks stuff in the break room just now. Shes been through at least 3 gigs all at very good companies in good roles where people would be envious. Idiots and assholes basically invented the phrase: give an inch and they'll take a mile. For example, I finished an engineering degree and managed to stay within the 80% curve by spending time studying just 1/3 of what others did. Mirroring and modeling are two tenets of Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP, google it), very helpful in communicating, persuading, and establishing an exchange of information. There was once this portfolio manager I covered who had this uncanny ability to make you feel uncomfortable without saying anything at all. Pride wants to jump in sometimes and say, look at me Im not as dumb as you. I really have to be conscious of this and try to hold back. Im thinking the covid might actually be an antivirus. It isnt that Im necessarily persuasive, Im just very good at making them feel good about the work they are doing. Also in tech industry, you need to be a mentor and have help others to be promoted to some level. :-D ). Became the elite few of the company in just 5 years. "We talked about this. If you are working much more than expected and you arent being compensated, then at some point that means you are getting taken advantage of. I don't have this arrogance problem at all when I'm hanging out with older people due to my customs. Where would I be without this. Accessed 28 Jun. But there used to be a time when I just couldn't help but brag about my achievements. "If you were paying attention" 2. Lets say you get to 1 million visitors a month. Here are 6 clever comebacks that only the smartest people use. All Rights Reserved. :). i cant progress either way. Russian embassy demands to know that Skripals are 'safe and sound' . Playing dumb, specifically, additionally predicted lower feelings of both exhaustion and negative affect. I use mirroring when I deal with most people. So this thoroughly degrading self hating stupid guy blames hisself for his business model getting stolen rather than blame the sociopathic tosspot/s that actually stole his business model ideeyuh in the first instance. Because you are a rockstar who is clearly crushing it, other people don't want to waste your time with dumb questions they can look up online, so they never ask. Everyone else out there in the financial blogger world is just a basic repeat of all the same stuff. 9. In an earlier post, I talked about never accepting I dont know for an answer when confronting disordered characters. The relevancy of this post is more directed within your workplace setting. You never see an evil genius smile. Less stress and better relationships at work. Seeing as being a dummy is the only way to spot one. Seems to work for me- I have plenty of time at work, and never work more than an 8 hour day. I should be close to 150,000 visits in July. But I have acted dumb on occasion. : to pretend not to know something If anybody asks you where I am, act dumb. I notice people dont feel challenged around me, they relax too, I get all I need to complete my work and shine in a subtle way :-). (Sam, feel free to correct me if I am wrong here) I am assuming that some of these skill sets would be especially useful in a competitive financial work environment, and even more so currently as Sam enjoys financial independence. Never heard that one before. There is a great joy at being a nobody. But it seems to bother a lot of smart people i have met with and spoke with in my 62 yrs. But until one really intelligent guy commented to me, I did not realize that the one listening to me doesnt get even a single clue about who or what I am. Find Frequently Asked Questions. Yeah I learned about this a many years back when people kept trying to use me for my very useless degree (English) and would have me edit EVERYTHING. This is the first time Ive read someones take on this subject. I was lucky to find a job out of college working for a company that had diversity as a core value. He started hammering me about whether or not we were going to close XYZ deal that was about 1/300th the size of what we were about to look at. But I do realize the importance of walking the fine line. Theyll automatically like you very much because you remind them of someone Themselves. Impact Suite includes many enhancements to help Act! If you want to read the best personal finance book, check outBuy This, Not That: How to Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom. It is used as a tool. It's enlightened anxiety. And if theres one thing Ive learned well over the years, its that whenever you confront a disturbed character on their inappropriate behavior, you need to stay focused on those problem behaviors no matter how clueless or innocent they might act. What an Idiot Ive been. Then I moved to US for school. I always hate small talk. Surprised everyone. I rarely post much here, but do read as time permits. It's like a coping mechanism. users see more relevant contact details on one or multiple screens, produce automated tasks, emails and reporting plus so much more to boost and simplify your Act experience. Im always open to grammatical and punctuation corrections in my writing, so dont be shy. If I do decide I want to work full-time again, it's easier to surprise on the upside by demonstratingmy entire repertoire of knowledge and skills. I feel like when I act dumb and child like people dont expect much from me, like me more, feel more comfortable around me and dont bully me. Then take your intellect (power, time, value, whatever measure) and trade it for people skills. Once perception is created, it is VERY difficult to change someones find. (Edit: the more I write the more I answer this question myself lmao. Playing possum.the Ali rope-a-dopeSaying very little yet collecting information These are all techniques I use in life. But if I did, I would have easily blown past my contracting hours if I'm tasked to do SEO, manage the social media platform on a daily basis, and provide copy writing for advertisements and landing pages. Unfortunately, haters gonna hate and they will do what they can to pull you back down into mediocrity land and blending in really is the way to keep things cool. Your speech is often a dead giveaway for your level of intelligence. Small talk has value. (Im a 19 year old Boy btw) I always act dumb and even child like in social situations but I dont know why? If I perceive that someone on my team isnt understanding the content or capable to deliver the work I need him to do ill give that work to someone else if he/she is acting dumb theyve wasted my time and theyve allowed themselves to miss an opportunity. Ill admit that I do act dumb with clients, particularly when trying to understand their business, but in reality its not acting dumb as much as realizing I dont know as much as them until ive spent time with them. Oh and the dressing part was spot on. And you should absolutely demonstrate your smarts and know-how in these professions until you reach a happy state in your career. Idk I just feel like Ill never be able to be myself because my whole life all I was taught is that I need to change my self to be liked by others). Deliberately "Forget" to Do Things Passive-aggressive people prefer to be viewed as "absentminded" rather than disagreeable. Would you like to join the discussion on Acting Innocent and Playing Dumb as Manipulation Tactics? Nope, people cant see it at all. Only they cant see themselves in your copy. Its much easier to look good when expectations are lower. I am slowly learning this concept. I just tell themI'm a writer instead. 6) Savage Comebacks When People Say You Have Changed. You need to also learn how to convince people you're not very good at what you do to lower expectations. Most of the time I just act like myself. But if you reply with a curt what does it look like? they may just keep on driving. But my biggest problem is still coming across as overconfident and a know-it-all typewith younger people I meet. When that happens, you'll be bombarded with even more hate and jealousy. Perhaps it's made us impatient, or shortened our attention spans, or diminished our ability to understand long thoughts. You show them wrong by getting the best grades, best test scores, going to the best school, getting the best job, and have the most amazing life! If I get laid off that would be an added bonus. Don't be quick witted and answer questions in lightening pace. If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. Looking younger doesn't necessarily mean you will appear dumber. If his forces are united, separate them. What, youre about to let those people lap you just because youve got experienced? Look at his assets. They'll ask you about the next hot IPO or your views on the Federal Reserve's latest interest rate policies and how it will affect cyclical stocks. In fact, other people often do know things that you dont. Theres definitely a fine balance and an ongoing relationship for employer and worker. There will come a time when your time has come! As far as my boss goes, he mentioned that hes started watching people and has beem able to handle some of their concerns. PDF www.infectiousdisease.dhh.louisiana I both hate and love this article. I would NOT let your trucker colleagues know about your site, especially the more it grows. Create professional reports to PDF, Excel, HTML and emails automatically. Stay on the righteous path and think long and hard before making any financial transaction! When it comes to getting advice on making more money, people can't get enough. When you feel sad, they have a cunning way of making you . Much easier to buy clothes one size too big and not cut my hair for a couple months! I have to grit my teeth to get through the weather out there conversations. Sun Tzu said this and he is only the author of The Art of War, one of the most widely read leaderships books of all time. If you did a bad job, hed mock you in a friendly way in front of everyone. Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors However, this article hit the nail on the head in many respects to Americaland of the corporate* employee (slave), which I applaud you for pointing out. When an I-can't-believe-she-just-said-that moment happens, your first instinct is probably to react physically: You might . Just read some of the comments some lovely readers leave telling me how dumb I am for proof! I was doing a completely unrelated search that included the words dumb people because of a comment I heard was supposedly made by a Facebook executive. Its only when you see them interacting with other scary smart people that you realize just how truly intelligent they are. If you've seen someone behaving very rudely or stupidly, or seen somehow acting in a brash and insulting way then pay attention! If they knew you were smart they would do everything possible to ruin you. Good point in an office context I would never want to make people resent me. Be smart enough to suppress your achievements. Youd think theyd figure it out or notice, right? Theyre effective tactics, especially when used on neurotic individuals, for several reasons. Such an original post, Sam. Theyre taking time out of their busy schedule to help me a lowly analyst. I just hope that at some point, you also get to enjoy the aesthetic privileges that wealth allows. I studied art history in school and the great portraits that I loved, by Velazquez or Gainsborough, or Sargent, or great examples of architecture Versailles, country estates in England or Rhode Island or Boston, would never have been created if patrons had shied away from showing their wealth. I also sell a product with coaching and very few people even contact me with that. An interesting topic for sure. (Very) Thought provoking too. Got it, that explanation makes a lot of sense. And then I take my rocket scientist brain and wrap it all up and report on it. Character Disorder: Levels of Awareness, discussion on Acting Innocent and Playing Dumb as Manipulation Tactics, Understanding Aggressive Personality Types, The Thinking Errors of the Disturbed Character, Manipulation Tactics and Impression Management, Tools of Personal Empowerment: How Not to Be Manipulated, Distinguishing Neurosis from Character Disorders, Developing Character: Ten Commandments of Character Development, Acting Innocent and Playing Dumb as Manipulation Tactics. In teaching, you have to relate to your students and I try not to ever talk down to them. You learn that as you grow older. when i dumb down im not taken seriously. However if the situation calls for just getting the job done and receiving your small raise and bonus regardless of the effort, I will take the common sense approach and coast along. YES! He had a poker face when you spoke to him, and when he felt like changing expressions, he'd go from solemn to smiles in a millisecond. This was a huge improvement in my experience compared to college, though some of the same problems existed across the engineering department as a whole. Ive got a decent southern accent, but my ethnicity kinda makes it less believable though if we meet face to face. You know what I'm talking about. It's natural for anybody in the work environment to feel threatened by a new hire, a lateral hire, or a superstar colleague. I will stop comparing myself with other people. I will stop comparing myself with other people. I advise neurotics who want to empower themselves in their potential dealings with disturbed characters to judge actions, not intentions., Manipulation via Shaming and Guilt-Tripping: Using the Conscience of the Neurotic against Them, Minimization: Trivializing Behavior as a Manipulation Tactic, Evasion and Diversion as Manipulation Tactics, Neurosis vs. These kids weren't just acting dumb, they really were dumb. Especially if you work in services, if you advise clients and give an impression of being dumb, they wont want your services as nobody wants dumb advice. I really enjoy making friends with people from all over. Really interesting post, Sam (as per usual). They also know that neurotics are very hesitant to believe this. Synonyms and related words. distorted speech at times is easy when needed like a light switch and can hit you with 5 + years of memory like a light switch with lighting speed english clear as day. The latter you want to help, the former you just smile. I wish I had read this post a long long long time ago. So Im curious, what would be your advice to a young female like me? At work (a software comp.) AddOns for ACT! It is that he has no idea how to hire a tailor to make them look right on his weird centaur frame. Its dumb to think being dumb is better. I sentence myself to moronic thought patterns. You can buy a copy onAmazontoday. Who does that, but workaholics! A final thought: Maybe Google won't make us more stupid, but it should make us more modest. Furthermore, smiling a lot will make you look less menacing. The pandemic has made it more difficult for more people to see smiles in public. Wait for them to make a mistake. In other words, people feeling strained at work were more likely to engage in this CWB . How I got this way has absolutely baffled me up until now. Always, always use the word we and point out individual's names that helped make the work win a success. I kept this up all four years. You sound like me. Many times, when your gut is telling you that youre being taken advantage of, played for a fool, or simply being mistreated, and you confront a disordered character about it, theyll act like they have no idea what youre talking about. Feigning ignorance is an effective tactic that manipulates the person confronting the behavior into having doubts about the legitimacy of the issue theyre trying to bring to the other persons attention. Take credit for my work because to even learn something like this you got to live it. No makeup no skinny pants. This article is interesting. "If you knew how to listen" 4. Hah! Tell me Sam, which is more important? Character Disorder: Levels of Awareness.) What a hero you are to point out this to authentic smartos. Some people are aggressive and arrogant, and that works for them, but Ive found that being a wolf in sheeps clothing is much more effective, especially for women. I feel like when I act dumb and child like people don't expect much from me, like me more, feel more comfortable around me and don't bully me. If you have a flat tire, and a passerby rolls down the window to ask got a flat tire? that person is not really asking, they can see for themselves. One thing I learned the hard way is I spoken in a world where no one speaks. He does however if he is as rich as he likes to claim have the money to fly to the best tailor in the world and have it made right. Feigning ignorance is an effective tactic that manipulates the person confronting the behavior into having doubts about the legitimacy of the issue theyre trying to bring to the other persons attention. Im definitely down with having good open dialogue if the other side is willing. Not easy to do no doubt. Pretty dumb, if it hasnt been apparent in this post. For me, though, the emphasis is just a little different: Repeat after me: Great article. When entering a new work environment I always want to set the bar to such a point that I know I can over deliver if needed. I also come from a culture where respecting your elders is of great importance, so I just assume that whatever I say to a younger person will be heard. Boredom may feel unpleasant, but it conveys an important message. I fit in well by trying to look dumb. to do something to try to prevent someone from discovering the truth. Now I work independently. We do highly welcome posts and community interaction, and registering is simply part of the posting system. Your decisions are yours alone and we are in no way responsible for your actions. The drills were intended to coordinate the response of all services to an "emergency situation" at the plant. The next time you're hit with an insult, use a good comeback from this list: I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. I didnt start off agreeing with this post but I think I see where you coming from a little better now. Im going the path of least resistance because items easier to be lazy than work out two hours a day and eat only chicken and protein shakes to get huge. The one time I find its truly helpful to play dumb is when dealing with customs or security guards. How smart I must be to say dumb things. Glad you now agree with everything I wrote! If he is in superior strength, evade him. I sure loved this post. Though coworkers still try to make me miserable. This attitude has helped me so much! Also, I come form a minority group people havent typically associated with success. 20% : Little cerebral involvement until late. So one of my favorite retorts is, Hey, Im just a state school guy. Care to share how do they act and get ahead? What you said and what Ive experienced are probably industry difference. The smart people are usually more quiet and kind of studious. play possum phrase. Unfortunately, my desire to help can come across as arrogant, particularly in America. Sign up for the private Financial Samurai newsletter! Of course I'm going to do my best to help my friends and family when they're in need, like I spent several hours helping my sister come up with a financial plan last year. For a long time I didnt realize why people I barely met hated me so much. Im the wolf. Some of the behaviors weve explored thus far include Shaming and Guilt-Tripping, Minimization, and Evasion and Diversion: When disordered characters are confronted about problematic behaviors, they are apt to employ a select group of tactics to avoid responsibility and manipulate others. All I want from my daily social interaction is that I do not ever need to dumb-down, I figured the best way to achieve this is probably getting into companies with the highest hiring bar possible. And when I do, they will ask for another answer and want me to get into more detail. You want to be a nice and collaborative person no matter your real intelligence. I work in consulting, and I realize my daily work experience may differ from others. Great. I work as a project manager and so I get paid to be in the know. Cant always be a listener. Once I came to US for college, I was constantly surrounded by know-it-all type of white male engineers, and tech workers are famous for their imposer syndrome.
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